


Love is a Battlefield

by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions)



Series: Don't Let's Start Adjacent [11]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Background Relationships, Lance says 'Boner', M/M, Minor Keith/Shiro (Voltron), Part of the Don't Let's Start verse, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Which is why this is T
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 09:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15793914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticReactions/pseuds/BossToaster
Summary: 1 2 3 4, I declare a kiss warRyou surprises Lance with a kiss-and-run, and it predictably escalates





	Love is a Battlefield

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aurumdalseni (kyo_chan)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyo_chan/gifts).



Lance fought off a sigh as he idly flipped through apps on his phone.  Really, he badly needed another game to play on here. He didn't tend to keep many for long, going through phases of free to play apps with obnoxious ads like they were going out of style.  His latest crop had been plenty engaging, but they were also the kind that you set tasks that would take hours (or worse, days), and there was nothing to be done in between. Which sucked, because it meant Lance had nothing to do for the time he spent waiting for Contemporary Philosophy to start.

(He really should have just taken the damn drama class for his humanities hours, but the class had been at 8 AM.  Lance didn't do anything before 10. Period.)

Around him, the conversation continued, though Lance wasn't really listening to any of it.  He knew damn well he was going to participate in a bunch of group decisions in class today, so he was saving his mental energy for making bullshit arguments.  There were way too many people who treated this class like a debate to be won, rather than a back and forth. 

Besides, Lance just hadn't really clicked with anyone in this class.  Which sucked, because Lance liked to think he was an outgoing, fun guy.  But, hey, not every class could be a winner.

A quick glance proved there were still six minutes to class.  Lance groaned and closed his eyes, flopping back against the chair.  He didn't want class to start, but it was better than sitting around bored.  He was almost desperate enough to pull out the book and give their reading another glance over before class.

...Almost.

The conversation around the room picked up as time ticked away.  Lance didn't even bother to look up, flipping from one screen to the other on his phone, as if it would magically make a new app or notification appear.  He vaguely heard the girl sitting next to him apologize and scoot out of the way as someone tried to move through the aisle. Scooting his chair further up, Lance yanked his bag closer so it wouldn't be stepped on.

Then someone tapped his shoulder.

When Lance looked over, the person’s face was less than an inch from his own.  Before he could even gasp, their lips pressed against his mouth.

Lance nearly jumped out of his seat.  His phone clattered onto the table. Instinctively, he reached out and put his hands on the person's shoulders so he could push them away.

But then Lance caught sight of white bangs and a scar over the bridge of the nose.

Oh.

Just as he started to relax, Ryou pulled away.  He grinned down at Lance, all eager mischief. "Hey there."

"Ryou!"  Lance goggled at him.  "You scared the hell out of me!  What was that?"

Ryou only laughed.  "No time to explain.  I'm gunna be late." He shoved something soft into Lance's hand.  But before he could look, Ryou ducked in for another kiss, this one just a peck.  He pulled back before Lance could kiss back  _ again, _ then gave a little wave and jogged right out the door.

Well, then.

Lance rested his hand over his mouth, his fingers still clutching around whatever the hell it was Ryou had just given him.

"...Did a TA just sneak in here and kiss you?"  A guy behind Lance asked.

Blinking back into reality, Lance ducked his head.  He could feel the eyes of at least half the class on him.  A kiss was no big deal, but Ryou had just made a spectacle of them.  Lance would be mad, but, well, he didn't exactly mind showing off who his boyfriend was.  "Uh, no. But his brother is a TA. You're probably thinking of him."

"Ah."  The guy said.  He pulled back, clearly done with the conversation. 

Good.  Lance really didn't want to get into 20 questions over that.

Finally, he looked down at his hand.  When he uncurled his fingers, he was holding a small, stuffed blue cat on a keychain.

Where had Ryou even  _ gotten _ that?

Lance curled in further until he could press his forehead to the table.  It was pleasantly cool against his burning cheeks.

It wasn't like Ryou had never kissed him in public before.  But Lance had never been so surprised by it, and he hadn't had a chance to adjust at all before Ryou suddenly ran right back out.  As far as mischief went, a sudden, chaste kiss wasn't the worst thing Ryou could have gotten up to. But it still made Lance's heart pound in his chest.

But dammit, it was also really cute.

"Um."  The girl next to Lance hesitated.  "Should I have not let him through?  I'm sorry. He put his fingers to his lips and he seemed okay, so I didn't think it was a bad thing."

Clearing his throat, Lance sat back up.  "No, it's fine. He's my boyfriend. He's just a weirdo."

The girl slumped in relief, letting out a huge sigh.  "Oh, good. You froze up so I was worried I let your stalker or something get to you."

"No, nothing like that!  I promise." Lance held up his hands and offered her his most reassuring smile.  "It definitely wouldn't be your fault, either. But, uh, thanks for checking in on me?"

Nodding, the girl relaxed.  "I'm glad, I would have felt awful."

"Nothing to feel bad about.  You couldn't have known." Lance rolled the little toy in his fingers, smiling.  "I don't think we've really met? I'm La-"

Of course, the professor took that moment to walk in, effectively ending the conversation right there.  The girl shot Lance a last smile, then dug out her book from her bag.

Eugh.  Time to start.

Lance hesitated, then put down the blue cat on the table in front of him, rather than in his bag.  

It sat in front of him for the whole time, and Lance imagined it as a protector between himself and the most obnoxious talkers in the class.

It didn't make the next hour and a half go any faster, but it made Lance feel a little better anyway.

***

**Absolute Unit**

Today - 12:51 PM

**Lance:** WTF WAS THAT   
**Lance:** Thank you for the cat?  Where did that come from?   
**Lance:** The girl next to me was seriously afraid you were a stalker fyi

Today - 1:07 PM

**Absolute Unit:** HAHAHA   
**Absolute Unit:** Did you tell her yes?

**Lance:** She was super freaked out so no

**Absolute Unit:** Well, you're stalking worthy, at least ;)

**Lance:** You make that sound like a compliment but it's really not

**Absolute Unit:** Yeah true   
**Absolute Unit:** I got the keychain for you because I was 2 dollars short on free Amazon shipping   
**Absolute Unit:** It was cute and I thought you'd like it   
**Absolute Unit:** It came last week but I forgot to give it to you then.  Then I was like 'oh, I pass by Thompson Hall every time I head to Chem, I'll just drop by on the way'   
**Absolute Unit:** But then you didn't see me and I couldn't resist

**Lance:** You scared the shit out of me

**Absolute Unit:** I'm sorry if I actually need to be sorry, otherwise I'm not

**Lance:** You're lucky you're cute

**Absolute Unit:** xcuse u what's this cute shit?   
**Absolute Unit:** What happened to Choice Cut Prime Beef?

**Lance:** I WAS DRUNK

**Absolute Unit:** Don't walk it back now, you'll hurt my feelings

**Lance:** You're a little shit is what you are

**Absolute Unit:** I can be both

**Lance:** I'm going to get you back for this, you know

**Absolute Unit:** Oh nooooo.  Whatever will I dooooo

**Lance:** Dig that grave deeper

**Absolute Unit:** Am I being naughty???

**Lance:** I don't think this is going to be as fun as you think it will be

**Absolute Unit:** ;)

**Lance:** You're being very smug for someone who is expecting me to bring him lunch tomorrow

**Absolute Unit:** I'll be good, Sir

**Lance:** You keep getting deeper and deeper

**Absolute Unit:** HAH

**Lance:** I MEANT DIGGING YOUR GRAVE   
**Lance:** DAMMIT   
**Lance:** SHUT UP

***

The smart thing to do would have been just to look up Shiro's office hours.  They were on the department website, after all, so it wouldn't be hard to find.  

But that would require more effort than Lance was already putting into this.  He was just going to jump right into this and hope it worked out.

When he arrived, Lance was gratified to see the lights on under the door.  Shiro wasn't the only one who used the TA office. There were three desks shoved into a room that was barely bigger than a closet.  The place was so full of papers it was a good spark away from burning down the whole department. But Lance was pretty sure Shiro wasn't teaching right now, so it was a good chance he was there.

Since the door was cracked, Lance pushed it open gently.  "Um, hello?"

"...So then this asshole had the audacity to- agh!"  Matt Holt startled, his whole body jerking. He was leaning back in his chair, feet on the table.  When he moved, his sneaker hit a teetering pile of papers, making the entire stack fall down and onto the ground.  "Shit!"

From his own desk, Shiro chuckled.  "That's what you get for putting off your grading, you know."

"Hey, how about you fuck off?"  Matt flipped Shiro off, then reluctantly pushed himself to his feet to retrieve the papers.  "Hey, Lance. I thought you graduated from Shiro's class like a year ago."

Lance rolled his eyes.  "I did, thanks." He stepped out of the way so Matt could get the papers before they ended up with footprints.  "I just have a question for you, Shiro."

"Shoot."  Shiro leaned back in the chair, his hands folded serenely on the table in front of him.  His prosthesis, combined with the slightly-too-small sweater vest, he looked like a particularly nerdy cyborg.  "I'm guessing this is about my brother, and not about physics."

Grinning, Lance shrugged one shoulder.  "Yeah, sorry. It'll just be a minute. You expecting anyone?"

"At this point in the semester?"  Shiro shook his head and sighed. "No, not really.  The next test isn't for a couple of weeks, and we're not close enough to finals to start getting the panic and begging.  What's Ryou done this time?"

Matt snorted as he picked up the last of the papers.  "There's a familiar sentence."

As much as Lance would have loved to defend his boyfriend's honor, Matt wasn't wrong.  So instead, Lance just ignored him, which was the better strategy for handling Matt anyway.  "Uh, this is a weird question, but is there, like a really short break in Ryou's schedule sometime?  Just five minutes where you know for sure he'd be somewhere but not busy, where I could give him something and then run before he could react."

Slowly, Shiro's brows came together.  He sat up straight in his chair, looking Lance over with a sterner eye.  "What would you need to give Ryou and then leave immediately?"

"It's kind of personal."

There was a snicker across the room.

Dammit, why did Matt have to be there for this?

Shiro didn't so much as blink at Matt's teasing, but he did start to frown.  "I'm not really sure," he said slowly, like he was picking each word individually.  "He doesn't really have any secret spots on campus, and you he’s not particularly fond of schedules."  Leaning back in his chair, Shiro looked him up and down. "If you're trying to give him bad news, I'd say dropping it on him and running is probably going to make him upset with you."

Wha-

"No!"  Lance shook his head, eyes wide.  "No, no, nothing like that. It's just- Ryou ambushed me with a kiss earlier, 'cause he knew I'd be early for a class and bored.  I wanted to get him back. I'm not, like, telling him I dented his car and running before he can react. Jeez."

Shiro's brows rocketed to his hairline, but he finally relaxed again.  "Ah. Okay, now I get it." Then he stared at Lance, like he was considering something important.

Shifting from foot to foot, Lance gripped at his bag strap.  "Uh, there a problem with that plan?"

Shiro continued to stare, then held up a hand to Matt.  "Close the door, will you?"

"Uh, why?"  Matt didn't even look up as he continued to resort his papers.  "You've got legs."

"You're closer, and I'm about to get us in trouble."

...Huh?

Apparently those were the magic words.  Matt bounded to his feet and practically slammed the door shut.  "Trouble how?"

Shiro raised one brow at him, clearly smug.  Then he pulled over a piece of paper, wrote something down, folded it, and handed it to Lance.  "There."

Opening it up, Lance saw a five digit code.  "Uh, I don't get it."

"That's the code to Dos Santos' research lab," Shiro told Lance.  He leaned his chair back, balancing on the far two legs. His smile turned mischievous, which reminded Lance how identical he and Ryou really were, aside from hair color.  "I'm not supposed to have that, so be careful. Ryou gave it to me to drop off his bag. But he spent half an hour this weekend bitching about how his research partner bailed on him this afternoon, so he'll be there all alone."  Brows up, Shiro held out his hands in a 'tadah' gesture.

Lance looked down at the piece of paper, then up at Shiro.  He beamed and threw himself over the desk, grabbing Shiro in a quick, rough hug.  "Thank you! This is perfect!"

"You're welcome."  Shiro patted him fondly on the shoulder, as he used his other hand to steady himself and his rocked chair.  "If you go now, you can get there before he does and give him a good scare."

Grinning with all his teeth, Lance pulled away.  "Yes. Good idea. Perfect. Gotta go then, bye! You're the best, Shiro!"  He ducked around Matt and opened the door to sprint down the hall.

"That's it?" Matt demanded, just barely within earshot.

"I said it was trouble, not entertaining trouble."

Well, Matt may not have been impressed, but Lance was.

Time for some revenge.

***

Lance looked either way down the hallway, like the corniest, most obvious thief in a cartoon.  There was no one around right now. He could just barely hear a muffled lecture from the closest classroom, but otherwise the hall was abandoned.

Not that Lance was doing anything wrong.  Really. No, he wasn't actually supposed to know this code, and he wasn't supposed to be messing around in Professor Dos Santos' lab, either.  But it wasn't like he was going to touch anything. He'd stand around for ten minutes, give Ryou a good scare, kiss his face, then be out of there.

Okay, maybe Lance was, in fact, doing something wrong.  But Ryou had started it.

Glancing around one more time, just in case someone was around, Lance inputted the code.  The pad on the door beeped loudly each time a button was pressed, which made Lance want to cringe.  Then it flashed green, and clicked.

Bingo.

Lance's heart pounded as he slipped inside and closed the door carefully behind him, then flipped on the lights.  

The sight was familiar, despite the fact that Lance had never actually been here before.  He knew the chaos from hundreds of snapchats and selfies Ryou had taken. He vaguely recognized the set of 3-D printers toward the back specifically from when Ryou had made figurines for their short-lived DnD group.  The rest of them were mysteries of metal and manufacturing, but Lance felt oddly comfortable, here.

It was the smell, he realized.  This scent of metal, paint and wood was the same that clung to Ryou's clothes.  He had a t-shirt back in his dorm that smelled exactly like this.

Smiling softly, Lance wandered through, careful to keep his hands to himself.  All the machines looked like they were off, but he wasn't about to test it and see.  Instead he stepped around them, peering at the different projects in varying states of completion.  He looked for anything familiar, but couldn't pick out which one, if any, was Ryou's.

Ah, well.

A quick check of his phone showed Lance still had ten minutes before his boyfriend was supposed to be here.  Knowing Ryou, that meant he had less than five minutes to kill.

Lance glanced around, looking for a place to hide.  There were plenty of tables he could duck below, but many of them had cords underneath.  If he managed to unplug something and break it, Lance was in such deep shit. Not only would Ryou not talk to him for weeks, Shiro would be in trouble for giving him the code, and he'd be on the hook for replacing these expensive looking machines.  No thanks.

Okay, that was out.  There had to be somewhere else.

Maybe he could just hang out next to the door?  That worked in cartoons and moves, but Lance had never managed to pull it off.  

Where else...?

The door started to beep.

Lance froze in place, his eyes wide and his heart pounding in his throat.  Ryou was supposed to be here alone, but what if it was Dos Santos, or his partner had showed up after all?  Then this strange guy would just be standing around in a locked lab like a weirdo. Or a thief. 

As his mind spiraled into worst case scenarios, the door opened.  Ryou stepped through, his brows up at the lit room. "Jake? I thought you said-"  He stilled completely, staring at Lance.

Well, this wasn't how he'd planned on doing this.

Before Ryou could react, Lance charged forward and grabbed him by the shirt.  He pulled his boyfriend down into a rough kiss, then pulled away before he could collect himself.  Then, on impulse, he pulled the cat keychain out of his pocket, and gave Ryou a little peck on the cheek with it.

They stared at each other in the silent lab.

"Um," Ryou said, eyes wide and cheeks pink.

Before he could say more, Lance ducked around him.  "See you later! Bye!"

With that, he closed the door behind him and ran, his cheeks burning.

He just barely heard Ryou exclaim, muffled by the door and distance, but Lance was gone before he could follow.

As he ran out of the building, Lance clutched his new keychain and grinned like an absolute idiot.  His heart was pounding again, like he'd just gotten away with some clever mischief. 

Maybe that hadn't been nearly as smooth as he'd hoped, but he'd definitely gotten Ryou back.  And his look of befuddled shock when Lance had kissed him with the toy was one to be cherished.

Mission accomplished.

***

**Absolute Unit**

Today - 3:26 PM

**Absolute Unit:** I have so many questions

**Lance:** lol

**Absolute Unit** : No really how did you get in my lab?

**Lance:** I am a many of many secrets and ways

**Absolute Unit:** Normally this would be very charming but mostly I'm confused   
**Absolute Unit:** I can't work on my project at all until I figure this out   
**Absolute Unit:** How did you get in the lab????

**Lance:** :)   
**Lance:** Are you seriously freaked out about this?

**Absolute Unit:** Not really.  More concerned?   
**Absolute Unit:** Did I tell you and forget?  Did you see me do it and remember?

**Lance:** It was cute tho right?

**Absolute Unit:** Yes   
**Absolute Unit:** Fuck you for that kitty kiss.  I'm never going to recover from that

**Lance:** :)   
**Lance:** Shiro told me the code because I told him I wanted to kiss you when you didn't expect to see me

**Absolute Unit:** Shiro did???  Remind me not to tell him ANYTHING

**Lance:** He was helping me

**Absolute Unit:** Still   
**Absolute Unit:** It was cute tho   
**Absolute Unit:** You're always cute, you ass

**Lance:** I am   
**Lance:** And I'm secure in my masculinity and I don't have to make a fuss about being Prime Beef

**Absolute Unit:** That's because you're a tofu beef substitute

**Lance:** HEY 

**Absolute Unit:** I like tofu 

**Lance:**   >:(

**Absolute Unit:** I'm sorry   
**Absolute Unit:** Thank you for being cute and surprising me, even if you gave me a damn heart attack   
**Absolute Unit:** Also, I'm getting you back

**Lance:**  >:)

**Absolute Unit:** You underestimate my power

***

Normally, Lance's library shifts were boring as hell.  He liked the break on his school expenses, but that was pretty much the only perk of the job.  The rest of the time was spent shelving until his eyes crossed, shushing people who didn't understand that libraries weren't coffee shops, and finding weird things left on the back couches.

Today, however, Lance spent the entire time on edge.  He checked over his messages every few minutes, rereading that little conversation with Ryou.  He definitely had a plan for revenge, and work would be the optimal time to catch Lance. It wouldn't interrupt anything actually important, after all, and there were so many places to hide.

Because of that, Lance ended up eyeing anyone wearing a hat or with their hood pulled up, even when they obviously weren't Ryou.  He carefully glanced around each shelf, and he spent half his shelving time looking around. It felt less like he was watching out for his boyfriend's sneak kisses and more like he was expecting an assassination.

If his coworkers noticed anything off about his behavior, they didn't comment.  Not that they would. Nyma and Rolo were friends, but they weren't friends with Lance.  Good for bitching about the most annoying students, bad for killing time with. Ah, well.

The hours passed slowly.  Lance's vigilance either paid off, or Ryou wasn't there at all, because he remained unkissed.

...When he put it that way, maybe Lance should just accept the inevitable. He’d end up enjoying it, after all.

But that would be letting Ryou win.  Which would make him  _ insufferable. _  So, no, that wasn't going to happen.

Finally, Lance's shift ended.  For once, he didn't grab his bag and book it for the door as fast as possible.  Instead, he dallied by the front entrance and stared out into the dark.

Ryou knew the path he walked to get home.

Well, shit.

Lance peered carefully out the door, looking over the courtyard.  In the late evening hours, the street lights lit up the majority of the sidewalk.  But every building, every bush, every tree had just become a hiding place. A place his boyfriend could be lurking in wait, expecting Lance to come by.

Okay, this had gotten kind of silly.

"You okay, dude?"  

Lance jolted and turned, heart in his throat.  He saw the hat before he looked at the person's face, so he scrambled back, hand over his mouth to protect it.

Only to find a complete stranger staring at him in confusion.

"Uh."  Lance cleared his throat and dropped his hand.  "No. I mean, yes. I'm good. I'm totally good."

The stranger continued to stare, looking utterly dubious.

Which was fair.

Lance adjusted his bag and offered him a smile.  "Sorry. I'm kind of in a prank war right now."

"Ah."  The guy looked around once, still unsure.  "Um, if you need someone to walk you around...?"

It was a sign of desperation that Lance actually considered it.  He shook his head no and gave him a warm smile. "Nah, it's not that serious.  Thank you, though."

The guy gave him one more dubious look, then nodded.  "Alright, man. Uh, good luck." With that, he waved and wandered off, giving once last odd glance over his shoulder.

Lance waited for him to turn the corner, then covered his face and groaned.  "Ryou, if you're out there waiting, just come out now. Please?"

A pause.

Nothing.

Well, it'd be too much to hope for.

Lance sighed, took one last look around, then set off at a jog.

It was a ten minute walk back to his apartment.  Lance kept his eyes determinedly ahead, trying not to act like a total weirdo ago.  But every time there was a rustle or footsteps behind him, he whirled around, hands up.

It was never Ryou.

Finally, he reached his door and fumbled for his keys, only to find the door already unlocked.  Lance's heart pounded and his whole body went tense, sure this was it. But when he walked inside, Hunk was in the kitchen.

Right.  Roommate.  Lance had one of those. 

"Hey, buddy," Lance called, trying to act like he'd been totally calm and cool for the past four and a half hours.  "What'cha making?"

Hunk pointed to a cooling rack, already piled high with cookies.  "I found another s'more cookie recipe online. I modified it a little, so we'll see how it is."

"Ooh!"  Lance followed the delicious scent further in and reached for one.  Before he could grab on, Hunk smacked his hand away. Hard. "Ow! Hey, no fair.  You tempted me, you temptress."

Rolling his eyes, Hunk pointed threateningly at Lance.  "Nuh-uh. These need ten minutes to cool. If you try to eat them now, they'll fall apart when you pick them up."

Lance stuck out his bottom lip.  “I don't mind."

"I do."

Fine, fine.  Lance made a wounded noise and rubbed over the back of his hand, as if Hunk had done serious damage.  "You'll call me when they're ready?"

Hunk huffed at him, but he nodded.  "Yes, I promise, so long as you keep your fingers away from my cookies.  On second thought, out of my kitchen. You can't be trusted around baked goods."

Mouth falling open, Lance rested a hand on his chest.  "How dare you, sir!"

"The snickerdoodles."

....Yeah, okay.

Lance groaned, but obligingly stepped back.  "Alright, alright. Ten minutes. Then a movie?  It's been a weird day, dude, you have to hear about it."

"Sounds good."  Hunk went back to the sink to continue washing his pans.  But his dark, narrowed eyes continued to watch Lance, openly anticipating another theft.  "I'll be glad to hear about it in ten minutes. Now get out"

Lance made one more fake grab, just to watch Hunk's face twist up.  Then he fled, making a beeline for the safety of his room.

Only when he opened the door, he wasn't alone.

A large figure stepped into his space before Lance even closed the door.  He was pressed against the wall, and before he could do more than yelp, lips pressed against his own.

...Those  _ sons of bitches. _

Lance opened his mouth to yell at his stupid boyfriend and his stupid best friend.  But Ryou took advantage, running his tongue along Lance's bottom lip and moaning into his mouth.  Heat shot through Lance, despite his irritation. He grabbed onto Ryou's hips and pulled him in close, arching up into him.

Only for Ryou to pull back.

"I warned you."  He flashed Lance a grin and gave his lip one last nip.  Then he pulled away and bolted out the door.

Lance stared at the far wall, dazed.  He had been kissed really well, and now Ryou was gone.  Where had-

Shit.

"Come back here!"  Lance shoved off the wall and tore after Ryou.  All he got in reply was a laugh, as his boyfriend yanked open his front door.  "You don't get to give me a boner and run off! Get in here and deal with this!"

"Dude," Hunk groaned, covering his face with a suds-covered hand.  "Maybe don't yell that."

Ryou shot him a grin over his shoulder.  "Don't dish out what you can't take, babe.  Love you, bye!"

And with that, he sprinted off, closing the door behind him.

There was a long silence, as Lance leaned against his door frame, and Hunk went back to washing.

"You let him in?"

"Obviously."

"Why?"

"It was funny."

Lance groaned and hit his forehead against the door.  "I hate you."

"Sure you do, buddy.  Still want cookies?"

What a dumb question.

Of course he did.

***

**Absolute Unit**

Today - 10:34 PM

**Lance:** I hate you

Today - 10:57 PM

**Absolute Unit** : Mwahaha

Today - 11:12 PM

**Lance:** I spent my whole shift waiting for you to jump out of the shadows   
**Lance:** And then you were in my room!!

**Absolute Unit:** Yeah that was why I asked Hunk instead   
**Absolute Unit:** He let me have cookie dough too :)

**Lance:** I've been betrayed   
**Lance:** Seriously, I think you gave me a heart attack

**Absolute Unit:** What, it's cute when you do it, but bad when I do?

**Lance:** :(

**Absolute Unit:** At least you expect to see me in your room, and you knew I was coming

**Lance:** :( take your logic away from me

**Absolute Unit:** Are you mad?

**Lance:** I kinda was   
**Lance:** Fine, no, I'm not mad

**Absolute Unit:** Good  <3   
**Absolute Unit:** Truce, then?  I wasn't trying to start something, I just wanted to give you the keychain   
**Absolute Unit:** It's funny, but I want to end it before someone is really mad

**Lance:** It's 2 to 1

**Absolute Unit:** Laaaaance

**Lance:** We'll truce after this one

**Absolute Unit:** Just not in my lab again?  It was fine this time but if Dos Santos finds out, he won't be happy

**Lance:** Yeah, okay.     
**Lance:** Can I be in there with you?  I want to use the 3D printer for Christmas presents

**Absolute Unit:** Yeah I can help you with that   
**Absolute Unit:** It's barely September why are you thinking about Christmas?

**Lance:** Thank you <3   
**Lance:** Cause I saw the printer and I got ideas

**Absolute Unit:** Can return fire wait until the weekend at least?  I have that physics test tomorrow and I don't want to be nervous while I'm studying   
**Absolute Unit:** You know the library better than I do

**Lance:** About even honestly   
**Lance:** Yeah, I can do that   
**Lance:** OH!  You owe me though

**Absolute Unit:** Why?

**Lance:** You can't kiss me like that and leave me hanging  >:(

**Absolute Unit:** Aww poor Lance   
**Absolute Unit:** I'll make it up to you

**Lance:** ;)

***

As requested, Lance waited until the weekend to enact his revenge.  Which, honestly, wasn't a problem. Lance had school and work during the weekdays anyway.  He did cash in his favor from Ryou on Thursday, because they both had a free evening, but that was something they both enjoyed.

The smart thing to do would have been to wait till Sunday to get Ryou back.  It would give him a whole weekend to stew, and it would serve him right for making Lance jump at shadows for his whole shift.  But that required patience, which just wasn't Lance's strong suit.

So it was Friday evening that Lance chose to strike.

Lucky for him, Lance knew that Ryou had plans to go to the movies that night.  Lance had been invited, but it was the latest horror flick, and he wasn't about that.  If Ryou wanted to scare himself into a weekend of no sleep, he was welcome to it. Lance would stick to comedies and action movies, thanks very much.

The tickets were already bought, so Ryou would definitely be gone.  Friday was also Shiro and Keith's usual date night, so they'd be out as well.

It was the time to strike.  Predictable, yes. But right now, Lance just wanted to get his own back, and then maybe stay the night instead of running off.  The perfect plan.

Lance hummed to himself as he dug through his bag.  He pulled out an old key, then made a triumphant noise when it successfully opened the door.  Technically, he had this for emergencies. But boyfriend pranks were  _ basically _ emergencies, right?  Definitely.

Once inside, Lance carefully locked the door behind him again.  He didn't turn on the lights and instead flopped lengthwise on the old, overstuffed couch.  

Without anyone in it, the rented townhouse was eerily quiet.  There were a few signs of life - a cup sat on the coffee table, properly settled on a coaster (of course), and someone had left their textbook and notepad next to it.  An open DVD case sat on top of the player, and the blanket on top of the love seat was poorly folded. Otherwise, it was so neat and orderly that it could have been an abandoned show home.

At least the lab had been interesting to wander through.  Even if there was something to do in the house, it felt weird to touch Ryou and Shiro's stuff when they weren't around to see it.

The movie wasn't due to end for at least half an hour.

Groaning, Lance pushed himself up off the couch, then draped himself over the love seat instead.  He tugged on the edge of the blanket until it toppled over, covering his back and thighs. A good kick unraveled it further, until Lance could properly cover himself.  He scooted further under the fabric so he could use use it to cover the bright screen of his phone as he settled in with his latest game app and prepared to wait it out.

Half an hour passed, and then another.

Ryou didn't come home.

Lance checked the times for the movie.  It had started at 5:30, and it was supposed to be half an hour long.  It should have been done by 7. But now it was well past that, creeping closer to 8.

He must have stopped for dinner or something.  Or he had errands to run. Any of a dozen reasons that he could be late.

But Lance couldn't just text and ask, but that would be admitting that he knew Ryou wasn't home yet.  This was obvious enough without basically admitting what he was doing.

Lance pulled up his phone and bit his bottom lip.  He tried to think of a casual reason to ask Ryou if he was home without totally giving up the game.  Maybe he could ask if he wanted to come over? Or was that still too obvious?

It was pretty obvious.

Seriously, how long as he going to take?  Lance's battery was already at 15 percent.  It wasn't going to last long if he kept playing games and messing around.

What if something had happened?  What if Ryou had gotten into a car accident, and Lance was sitting here, totally unaware.  Would Ryou text him when that happened, even if they weren't supposed to meet up later?

This was silly.  Of course nothing had happened.  Ryou was probably sitting in some crap restaurant and looking up memes on his phone, blissfully ignorant that Lance was waiting to surprise him.  Or, worse, he was aware Lance was waiting, so he was letting him steep.

...Or it could have been a car accident.

Just as Lance started to google local traffic incidents, a car door opened and closed.

Lance sat up straight, his heart in his throat.  He held his breath and listened hard for the sound of footsteps outside.

He didn't hear them.  What he did hear was the sound of a key entering a lock.

Show time.

Lance threw off the blanket and jumped to his feet.  He didn't even bother looking for a place to hide. Instead he stood in waiting.  Adrenaline coursed through him, filling him with nervous energy.

The door opened.  A familiar figure stepped inside, lit from behind by the street lights.

Before he could react, Lance grabbed him by the front of his shirt and yanked him into a fierce, biting kiss.

A noise of shock bubbled up, as those large hands automatically grabbed Lance by the hips to steady himself.

"Lance, what the  _ fuck?" _

....Keith?

What was Keith doing-

Uh oh.

Lance yanked himself away and let go of the shirt.  He looked over the man in front of him, only now taking in the dark hair and dress shirt.

_ Uh oh. _

Shiro straightened.  He slowly reached up and wiped the back of his hand over his mouth.  "It's nice to see you too, Lance."

Shoving past him, Keith glared at Lance and bared his teeth.  "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

A blush crept over Lance's cheeks, burning all the way down to his neck.

"I can explain."

Keith narrowed his eyes.  "Explain fast."

Behind him, Shiro leaned against the door frame and crossed his arms.  He knew  _ exactly _ why Lance had done that, but apparently he was content to let Keith interrogate him anyway, probably in revenge for being surprise kissed.

Yeah.  That was fair.

Covering his face with his hands, Lance willed the air to swallow him, or the ground to open up and drop him down.

When no such divine intervention came, Lance started to explain.

***

**Absolute Unit**

Today - 7:58 PM

**Lance:** So this is going to sound bad

**Absolute Unit:** Uh oh

**Lance:** I swear it's not how it sounds

**Absolute Unit:** Really not helping your case with this

**Lance:** I may have kissed your brother   
**Lance:** In front of Keith

Today - 8:05

**Lance:** Ryou?  Babe?   
**Lance:** You know why, right?     
**Lance:** Are you mad?

Today - 8:12

**Lance:** Ryou???  Come on it was an accident   
**Lance:** Can we at least talk?

***

The door slammed open.

Lance heard it from Ryou's room, where he'd hidden himself away.  Hiding his face in the covers, he wondered if maybe he shouldn't be in here.  He really didn't want to be outside with Shiro and Keith right now, even if Shiro had eventually vouched for his story.  Keith was still glaring and getting all possessive and handsy. Even if Lance wanted to deal with Keith's temper, he didn't want to see either of them that way.

Except he'd also put his tongue in Shiro's mouth.

He'd screwed up so bad.

Low, identical voices exchanged a few words, too quiet to properly hear.

Then footsteps approached.

Lance sat up, clutching Ryou's pillow to his chest like a stuffed animal.  He'd practiced what he wanted to say over and over in the past twenty minutes.  But now that his boyfriend was here, all of it evaporated.

The door flung open.  Ryou stood in the doorway, staring down at Lance.

Swallowing hard, Lance opened his mouth, then shut it again.  All that came out was a pathetic squeak.

Ryou stepped further in and slowly closed the door.  He walked up to Lance, each step deliberate and controlled.

Unable to say a word, Lance stared back up at him, heart in his throat.

Then Ryou burst out into laughter.

"Holy  _ shit," _ he crowed, head falling back.  "You really kissed Shiro for the stupid prank thing?"

Lance nodded, eyes wide.  He didn't quite trust the reaction, not after all that silence.

Luckily, Ryou didn't seem to need a reply.  He collapsed forward, taking Lance down with him as he landed on the bed.  "That's amazing, oh my god. In front of Keith! How are you alive? Are you alive?  Do I have a ghost boyfriend?"

"Are you mad?"

Ryou's brows winged up.  "Do I sound mad? No way.  It's hilarious, are you kidding me?  You planned one on Shiro out of nowhere!  Literally right in front of Keith. I can't believe it.  I really can't." He lost it again, cackling into Lance’s shoulder.

Finally, Lance cracked a smile to.  He flopped against Ryou's side and wound an arm around his waist.  "He was pretty mad, yeah. I thought it was you! You were supposed to be coming back from the movie.  Where were you?"

"Nah, I didn't go."  Ryou shrugged one shoulder, still grinning like a loon.  "My lab partner bailed on me, remember? I still had a ton of work to do on our project.  I gave Shiro the ticket, and he got one for Keith so they could go. Because his boyfriend appreciates horror movies.  Maybe we should trade, huh?"

"No!"  Lance rolled so he was on top of Ryou and glared down on top of him.  He jabbed a finger hard into Ryou's sternum. "Don't you dare go around kissing Keith."

Ryou only snickered, unabashed.  "I dunno. Fair is fair, right? If you get to kiss my brother, I feel like I should get to kiss Keith."

There was a knock on the door. "That's not how this works!"  Shiro said sternly.

Apparently they were loud enough to hear.  Oops.

Sticking out his tongue, though his brother couldn't possibly see it, Ryou called, "Why don't you ask Keith what he wants?  Maybe he'd ready for an upgrade!"

Shiro made an affronted noise, and farther into the house, Keith snorted.

Lance curled his fingers into Ryou's t-shirt. "Please don't kiss Keith.  For real. I'm sorry I kissed Shiro. I thought it was you."

Expression softening, Ryou leaned up to kiss him.  "Alright, alright. I wasn't really planning on it."  He pressed their noses together, eyes on Lance's lips as he went in for another peck.  But before he could, a smile cracked over his face again. "You kissed Shiro," he repeated, voice thick with barely suppressed laughter.

Groaning, Lance kissed Ryou's grin.  "Enough already. I'm not going to live this down, am I?"

"Not a chance."

Great.

Lance sighed.  "How about we call it even, and you kiss me until I forget what your brother tastes like?"

There was a pause.

Then Ryou surged up and kissed Lance again, this time open mouthed and filthy.  He gripped at Lance's shirt, pulling him down to deepen the kiss further.

"Deal," Ryou rasped, his eyes burning.  "But only if you kiss me enough to make me forget all about it tonight."

Grinning, Lance leaned forward to do just that.


End file.
